So anyways, as I did a little bit of travelling again (Seoul), I realized that for some reason, nature and the energies around me always gang up against me to make sure I have a horrendous ride (The Bastards!!). Why do I cast such negative aspersions against such a beautiful thing such as nature you ask me? (What are you, a tree lover?? Freak!)

It all started with the immigration officer adding himself to the list of fools, ignoramuses and mutant orangutans who think that just because their family decided to tag a name behind theirs to give them a heave-ho, everyone else needs it too. The guy just didn’t believe I don’t have a second name/ initial/ final or any other form of appendage attached to my name. One word name, is that so hard to believe?? Dumbass!!

Then, I am given a seat right next to the “nice old couple” who are travelling to Shingapur to see their son who is in software (Yes he is possibly a function/ statement or even a dynamic variable) and this is the first time they have ever flown. Isn’t that nice? (not!) This placement of this poor soul (me) also created the opportunity for another role for me to play - that of general comforter for everytime we would go through a airpocket, both the old people would jump, exclaim in telugu while holding each others hand and look around at which time my job was to look at them with kindness in my eyes and tell them everything is going to be ok and get a strange look from the old man! Ingratitude, I tell you. The old people these days!!

I also get the aisle seat so that I have a close encounter with the baby kind! Why does every trip of mine have to have a baby vocipherate its displeasure at being brought into this world at the top of its ratty little voice right in my ear??

Children should be banned from public places that have no place for someone to run away to.

Then, I see that there is a seat free up in front and get ready to move only to have the old punjabi aunty decide to use all three of the damn seats to make a bed and sleep with a warning to the airhostess to only wake her up in case they are serving food, alcohol or snacks. Ha!! The same punjabi aunty later went on to show me that Russel Peters was right. You can never take Punjab out of an NRI. The lady had never been to <indian_accent>Panjabuh</indian_accent> and of course she doesn’t have a canadian accent (wow!). She thinks <indian_accent>Chandigadh</indian_accent> is nice and <indian_accent>Jalandhar</indian_accent> is so old fashioned and she tells me all this while we wait for the next flight and I am trying to get the sleep I never got on the flight.

To top it all off, the absolute b@$t@&* who is seated next to me on the second leg of the flight decides that his snoring should drown out everything including the sound of the airplane engine and the tv when I have my head phones on!

As you can see, whoever said that “the journey is better than the destination” is an a$$ and should be “shot where the sun don’t shine”.

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Repeatedly! …

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Till you don’t have any bullets left! …

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What the hell are u still scrolling for?? Loser!

I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse?? …. Damn!

• Obama: Photographed

Callie Shell has some amazing photographs of current US Presidential candidate Barack Obama that are simply a don’t miss. Doesn’t matter who you support or even if you don’t care, the photographs are simply amazing.

Obama by Callie Shell

• The biggest Heroin dealer in the whole world

An interesting interview by Graham Johnson for Vice Magazine about SUleyman Ergun, who was supposed to be the most powerful drug dealers in the world at the time. Really interesting read!

Everyday I get to hear a song that, given the situation and context, is totally hilarious and sometimes inappropriate. So, since this is where I “share” what I feel, I have created a new category to put these songs into. Remember when u read this - I heard this when I was standing at a stall in the loo (descriptive, yes but necessary).

So here it is, the first installment of Heard In The Loo:

Song: Stand By Me.

Really? Would you really like to listen to someone singing this song when u are infact, standing in the loo?