Travel Peeves and General Grumpiness …Travel Peeves and General Grumpiness …

Travel Peeves and General Grumpiness …

Wise people say you should not talk when you are angry. I say screw them. Who the hell do they think they are??

So anyways, as I did a little bit of travelling again (Seoul), I realized that for some reason, nature and the energies around me always gang up against me to make sure I have a horrendous ride (The Bastards!!). Why do I cast such negative aspersions against such a beautiful thing such as nature you ask me? (What are you, a tree lover?? Freak!)

It all started with the immigration officer adding himself to the list of fools, ignoramuses and mutant orangutans who think that just because their family decided to tag a name behind theirs to give them a heave-ho, everyone else needs it too. The guy just didn’t believe I don’t have a second name/ initial/ final or any other form of appendage attached to my name. One word name, is that so hard to believe?? Dumbass!!

Then, I am given a seat right next to the “nice old couple” who are travelling to Shingapur to see their son who is in software (Yes he is possibly a function/ statement or even a dynamic variable) and this is the first time they have ever flown. Isn’t that nice? (not!) This placement of this poor soul (me) also created the opportunity for another role for me to play – that of general comforter for everytime we would go through a airpocket, both the old people would jump, exclaim in telugu while holding each others hand and look around at which time my job was to look at them with kindness in my eyes and tell them everything is going to be ok and get a strange look from the old man! Ingratitude, I tell you. The old people these days!!

I also get the aisle seat so that I have a close encounter with the baby kind! Why does every trip of mine have to have a baby vocipherate its displeasure at being brought into this world at the top of its ratty little voice right in my ear??

Children should be banned from public places that have no place for someone to run away to.

Then, I see that there is a seat free up in front and get ready to move only to have the old punjabi aunty decide to use all three of the damn seats to make a bed and sleep with a warning to the airhostess to only wake her up in case they are serving food, alcohol or snacks. Ha!! The same punjabi aunty later went on to show me that Russel Peters was right. You can never take Punjab out of an NRI. The lady had never been to <indian_accent>Panjabuh</indian_accent> and of course she doesn’t have a canadian accent (wow!). She thinks <indian_accent>Chandigadh</indian_accent> is nice and <indian_accent>Jalandhar</indian_accent> is so old fashioned and she tells me all this while we wait for the next flight and I am trying to get the sleep I never got on the flight.

To top it all off, the absolute b@$t@&* who is seated next to me on the second leg of the flight decides that his snoring should drown out everything including the sound of the airplane engine and the tv when I have my head phones on!

As you can see, whoever said that “the journey is better than the destination” is an a$$ and should be “shot where the sun don’t shine”.

Repeatedly! …

Till you don’t have any bullets left! …

What the hell are u still scrolling for?? Loser!

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12 Comments

  1. Posted November 19, 2008 at 4:22 am | Permalink

    But… I didn’t have to scroll. :-)

    Seriously, I can feel the pain. Most Indians are total dickheads when it comes to air travel.

  2. Sailusha
    Posted November 19, 2008 at 6:36 am | Permalink

    tsk tsk.. you’re going to have a difficult time finding Seoul-mates if you continue like this Raghu..
    and.. atleast the dickheads did a good job of clearing the writer’s block :P

  3. Posted November 19, 2008 at 8:24 am | Permalink

    haha, bledy golts i say. Now if you had malls traveling with you…

  4. Posted November 19, 2008 at 10:18 am | Permalink

    Aaah, the wonders of air traveling, you gotta love it (:

    Hope your next flights will be less horrendous.

  5. Posted November 19, 2008 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    WOW! Never hear a Raghu saw pissed!!! I know what u mean by difficult flight trip!!!! Such a pain!!!! I usually have a smelly fat guy next to me too bad!!! And yeah this one who said flight better than destination unless he traveled in first class he should be shot, but first i d like to kick his balls ;) just for fun ;)
    C.

  6. Posted November 24, 2008 at 8:45 am | Permalink

    two suggestions
    get a family name or just make Nath your surname
    use up all the alcohol in the flight to make the people around interesting.( Strangely it is coming from me to you.:))

  7. Posted November 28, 2008 at 12:56 am | Permalink

    Wow, I never saw this angry side of you before ;-)

  8. Posted December 1, 2008 at 11:40 pm | Permalink

    Nice to finally read something you’ve actually written as opposed to heard/read/seen/copied+pasted. Have fun in Seoul! Office trip?

  9. Vedkanya
    Posted December 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm | Permalink

    Wowww Raghu!! Wish I were hovering somewhere close to the flight, close enough to see you seething. One of my eternally-frozen-in-time memories that surely would’ve been… :P
    [I'm reminded of how elated you are when I'm remotely close to any such feeling, and I'm Not getting back at all.] :)

  10. Posted December 7, 2008 at 7:06 am | Permalink

    @priloza – yeah :) It was nice to write something I didn’t have to think too much about :D Seoul was amazing even for a veggie like me :)

    A guy’s gotta vent sometimes :D

  11. Sharath
    Posted December 7, 2008 at 7:12 am | Permalink

    “A guy’s gotta vent sometimes” … sometimes??! :-)

  12. anubhav
    Posted December 14, 2008 at 6:07 am | Permalink

    Which airlines was responsible for your misery. I will it avoid it

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